Hey guys. Jess here from The Love List and this Valentine’s Day, as with many before it, I find myself sans significant other. I guess I could sit around and cry “woe is me” but hey, whatever. If Beyonce’s sheer girl power could black out the Super Bowl, I can suck it up and stick it out through Single’s Awareness Day.
In that spirit, I have assembled a fail-proof survival kit for all the ladies out there with no Jay to her Bey. Grab a girlfriend and get after it:
1. Hanky Panky – Get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking about a cocktail. I do not like drinks that are colored, that are sweet, or have fussy BS like umbrellas and arbitrary fruit. That being said, I am definitely a fan of alcohol – specifically, I am a fan of gin. And I can think of no better excuse to suck down clear liquor than St. Valentine. If you choose to go swimming in the deep end, here’s a wintry (and super boozy) libation that always gets me a little loose. What better way to lift your spirits than with spirits, right?
2. Icona Pop – Listen to me, do NOT reach for the Ray LaMontagne tonight. If you go that route, the gin swim you’re taking is going to take a dark turn. You need bubblegum! You need heavy electronic beats! You need to flail around in your underwear and dance with an equal lack of shame and abandon! I highly recommend “I Love It” by Icona Pop for doing just that, but anything Robyn will also work in a pinch.
3. A Treat – Whatever makes you feel pretty, do it today. If that means a manicure, polish ’em in an au curant oxblood. If that means clothes that won’t make you feel fat, trot yourself over to the finest retail establishment you can afford and jack yourself into the sky with a new pair of heels. Get your hair done! Buy new lipstick! Treat yoself! Forbidden treats include Kate Hudson movies, swim suit shopping, donuts, and seedy massages.
Did none of that work? Then break the glass on the emergency case, because there’s always this guy:
You’re welcome. And happy Valentine’s Day.